BUCKET LIST

hint

The other day I asked my friend what was on his bucket list. He told me he wishes to live in a foreign country, go for sky diving just to mention a few. I know almost everyone has a bucket list. Actually there is even a book called ‘Bucket List Adventures’ written by Annette White. Yes it’s a big deal to have a bucket list. Some wish to travel around the world (I for one would like to do so with my best friend), some want to float on the Dead Sea (but I understand the smell there is awful), others want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro (My girl is doing that come August. All the best!) And so on and so forth.

My bucket list has quit a number of things that need to be done and at my age I thank God I have actually done a bit of those things. I am however sadden by the fact that I won’t be able to tick off one of those activities since it’s no longer possible. I really wanted to travel to Paris France ‘the land of love’, and get a chance to attach a love lock at the Pont des Arts bridge and throw the key in the Seine river below. For the last five years couples had a chance to lock their padlocks with their name on them as a sign of committed love to each other. But with time this become overwhelming and it was seen as a danger to the bridge since part of it had collapsed due to the weight of the padlock. The bridge has now been replaced with painted panels such that no locks can be attached to them. This explains why I had to cancel that off my bucket list. But still planning to visit Paris though.

lock

Recently one of the best things happened to me, giving me a chance to tick it off my bucket list. I swear this was one of the most amazing things I have ever done since I turned a year older. You know one of those things that you want to happen to you so badly, that when you get to have them, you do all you can to keep them? That is exactly what happened. It came at the right moment of my life and I still can’t believe that it happened. It taught me a lesson that no matter how long it may take to get that one thing you want so bad, as long as you work hard enough for it, it will eventually happen. All you need is faith and patience (a lot of patience).

Just to give you a hint, I had a chance to work with Jake Nava, http://www.cherrystudio.net/jake-nava.html . So what’s on your bucket list and what have you done so far? Share with the world.

THE ALPHA.

alpha

The phrase ‘my girls’ has become a very common term with our generation. Like a pack of wolves or dogs, girls too have names given according to the roles they play within the group of ‘my girls’.

Meet the Alpha: Most people think that the ‘alpha female’ is the most attractive, powerful and domineering woman in the group. But truth be told, ‘alpha female’ are not so easily recognizable. They might be beautiful or bossy and authoritative, but this is not what defines them. According to the Urban dictionary, the Alpha Female is seen as the intelligent, intellectual and problem solver individual.

The alpha female is known as a tough negotiator, who knows her value. She is the leader-type her role in a group of girls is to make decisions as simple as where to go on weekends.  The alpha female knows that brains without beauty matters, so she doesn’t give a fuck that she may not be the prettiest among the groupies. She isn’t the one to take directions from men, and this makes them desire her more. She makes the calls when it comes to relationships especially with the lesser men.

 Dating an  Alpha female could be the best decision a man can make, since  she doesn’t believe in using people for her selfishly motivated gains. She believes instead in reciprocating, and therefore gives without expecting anything in return. She loves unconditionally, and knows how to deal with her emotions. But above all she knows it’s okay to be stupid in love and it’s also okay to have a mental  break down when her heart is broken. The Alpha female, doesn’t believe in regret, and therefore every misgiving in her life is a stepping stone towards achieving her dreams and goals.

She knows how to speak her mind because she knows what she desires in her life. And the only male character that she tolerate in her life is the type that challenges her, and pushes her to be the best version of herself. To be the man in her life, you better be a dreamer full of big dreams. The female alpha ‘ain’t your mama’ so don’t expect her to keep a guy who just sit around doing nothing all day long.

She needs a man who will make her laugh, promise to keep her secrets, and be her best friend. She dates guys with their own plans not hanging around all the time waiting to join her and her girls for the night. To date her you should , correct her when she messes up. Tell her when she acts like a bitch, to her that is caring. But don’t make a mistake to belittle an Alpha female instead make her motivated and elevated. She is a drama queen when need be. She’s also possessive and sometimes jealous.  Fighting with her can be the worst thing, so if saying “sorry” a couple of times is what it takes to be on her good side, then do it, as the alpha female won’t be the one crawling back. Don’t expect her to accept her place in the kitchen, she is far too evolved for that.

In the book. “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine, she discusses the evolutionary and biological importance for females to get along and keep harmony in a group. This is done by the Alpha female, so let us support her instead of hating on her.

 

XOXO


Processed with VSCO with t1 preset

The heavens set us apart so that we can give way for the rains.I will make through the rain to be with you. Ain’t  giving up no matter how strong the storm is, coz with you I feel at home.You are the paint of joy in my heart and your smile gives me the strength to face tomorrow.

DON’T TOUCH ME!

Have you ever imagine yourself without a tongue?Its such a small organ in our mouth  with an average weight of 70g in a adult male and 60g for an adult female.I guess this explains why we women cant stop talking…our tongue apparently is lighter.Anyway back to the tongue ‘s functions; this thing does a lot of stuff. Starting from tasting ,rolling food in your mouth,swallowing and talking.And did you know that its color can give your doctor hint about your health?That’s why you are normally asked to flash it out when you visit a doc.Study shows that people with larger tongue full of fat suffer from Obstructive Sleeping Apnea and that the ability to roll your tongue is influenced by both genetic and the environment? Now with all these duties that the tongue performs,imagine due to some reasons you are required to cut it! Life can be unbearable!

 So I happen to be born in some amazing community in Kenya that holds it culture so tight up to date. When a girl was born in a family it was a sign of wealth and the more the girls the more rich the father was.The boys were warriors and they were meant to protect the community .Today the Maasai men are believed to be the best night guides in many homestead.You want to know why?Because they kill lions,actually lions run away when they see a  Masaai warrior.So yeah people trust us to provide the best protection.

IMG_20151001_131918

Back in the days the Maasai girl don’t go to school and by the time she was 11 years old she would be married off to a rich old man in the village as the fourth or fifth wife.And before all this wedding thing would kick off she was to go through a process that was believed to transform her from a girl to a woman.She had to undergo a CUT.That was the only way she would be accepted in the husband’s house.

So sad we are in the 20th century and my community still goes on with this practice.They believe that when we undergo female genital mutilation we will remain ‘pure’ until we get a husband and so we shall remain faithful to them alone.The story today is the same as way back but the only thing that our fathers have agreed to,is to let us to get education. Failure  to undergo the FGM,they believed that we shall have sexual feelings for every man we come across and hence attract HIV/AIDS in our community and that no man will wish to marry us.

So this is how it happens,the previous night the practitioner comes for a sleepover at my home and sleeps next to me reasons well known to them.The following morning very early,my mother wakes me up and pour a bucket of ice-cold water over me. (Seems the ice bucket challenge started way back but with a different agenda).Then am taken back to the house with my hands and legs tied,laid on a mat,my mother holds me strongly on the floor as some women from the neighborhood offer some helping hand, to ensure I graduate to ‘womanhood’ successfully.Within no time,part of me has been cut and thrown to the dogs.The procedure  is over and am left there crying,with blood all over to heal my wound as a ‘matured’ woman at the age of 15.

Its now time we stop this.According to the Demographic Health Survey of Kenya it shows that, FGM among 15-49 year old declined from 37.6 per cent in 1998 to 27.1 percent in 2008-2009.This number is still high.One of the practitioner claims that the cut has been there since way back and she can’t see anything wrong with it. Maasai community is the third community in Kenya at 73 percent practicing FGM at this time of the century.

Although The Prohibition of Female Genital Mutilation Act of 2011, act of Parliament, “prohibits the practice of female genital mutilation, to safeguard against violation of a person’s mental or physical integrity through the practice of female genital mutilation and for connected purposes”, we as the Maasai girls should fight this practice and eradicate it from our community once and for all.We know its effects  and they are nothing but only negative effects.

_20160526_123621

I can still be a woman without the cut,I can still get a man to marry me without the cut,I can still remain faithful without the cut and I can still prevent HIV/AIDS without the cut.So don’t touch me!

STOP F.G.M. Sharing is caring. 

LETTER TO YOU….

 

 

13087459_595956733900183_922874630436939889_n

Artwork by : Mihai Criste

 

Dear You,

Who knew that this would  bring us here? Yeah the four letters words L.O.V.E. This might sound so cliché,   but honestly this thing can kill someone, trust me. Remember how it all started? Just a normal conversation with all the laughter and bliss and slowly getting to know each other and boom just like that was trapped. Days passed to months and months to years and the more I got myself deeper and deeper. Too late for me I can’t come out of it now.

But who gives a shit…I don’t want to. I think I found the one. The one who I want to wake up next to every day, the one I want to come home to, the one I want to call  middle of the day and tell him that I miss him. I know you didn’t turn out to be the prince I dreamt about after watching Cinderella or Sleeping beauty, that’s okay coz you are just all I wanted.

And as the pages of my life keep turning, my love story chapter keeps getting sweeter. I was so scared to want you, you told me to let go, we are here to learn from the past and look now am here wanting you more than I wanted. For the first time I found someone I hate leaving, coz I can’t get enough of you. You became my strength, my poison, my madness and it can’t stop no matter how much I want it to.

It’s not easy but nobody ever promised it will be. So many thought whether this will really last to stand the test of time? But if we ever fall we were just taking a risk, at list we will say we tried. I know we are the most weidos people around. I act the bitch part most of the time and I know you enjoy my madness coz been ‘normal’ is overrated. And we don’t do normal…. So amazing how we get comfortable with hours of silence between us and it turns out to be the best moment ever. Things that weidos do.

This is my promise to you, I will be here when you need me and when you can’t tell anyone what’s happening inside you, I will be around to listen to your silence. Just promise me that you won’t break me and that you will fight with me and keep me safe. I don’t need more, I just wanna be loved by the same annoying favorite ass nigga forever; over and over again.

I want to be the kind of queen who sits by her king coz that the best place she rather be. I will do all this because I want to, that’s what love is.

LOVE

ME.

PRIVATE LIFE… HAPPY LIFE.

social-media-ruining-relationships-1200x750 Life has become a race and everyone seems to be on the run,nobody knows how far the finish line is so we have to keep running.All this running, has made people  get involved with so many different kind of stuffs just to keep us going.And one of this stuff is LOVE.

Everyone here knows a friend,or a friend of a friend who just called off their long term marriage or relationship.This has become a sad trend which lives amongst this generation.What changed between the time our grandparent and parent use to date and now?

Just recently we have witness many couples break their long time relationship just after walking down the aisle.We are left guessing the cause of all these break-ups coming up with so many theories around it.I personally believe that social media has brought a lot of positive change in our life. But it is one of the biggest cause why many relationship do not get to enjoy ’till death do us part’ phase.A study carried out shows that a third of divorce cases were blamed on Facebook. The internet has become a platform to show case our relationship status,the fun things we do on weekends and all those things we put on our Facebook page.

So they say,”it’s not official until it’s on Facebook”.When we get into a new relationship,we are so quick to change our relationship status on our Facebook profile  from ‘Single’ to ‘In a relationship with…..’. All this we do with the intention of sending a ‘back off’ or ‘stay away’ message to all the single people on the social media.It’s so sad that the same Facebook we use to paint our love picture is the same tool that tear us apart.

Study shows that people who spend more time on social networking site report more conflicts in their relationship and are more likely to break up.Facebook induces a lot of jealous among couples.Starting from random pokes from strangers,hundred of likes and comments on your photos from people you can’t control,weird inbox message from some psycho.And since cheating doesn’t mean you have to kiss,meet or have physical encounter with someone else the moment you delete a message from your inbox so your partner will not see them,then you have already cheated. We all do the ‘deleting’ to avoid creating misunderstanding with our spouse since we know our partners are monitoring our Facebook activities hence the break-up.

And now I tend to believe that our parents stayed together simply because, they didn’t have 1000 other people following them or,liking their photos after a day well spend with bae, or some stalkers trying to interfere with their reunion. Since nobody knew their business.Tony Gaskins a life coach explains how we are forgetting our communicate skills.Adults are letting social media ruin their relationship by letting inboxes,likes and retweets ruin what they are trying to build.

So honey you want your relationship to last longer? Put that phone down back to moderate, healthy levels of Facebook usage which can help reduce conflict, particularly for newer couples who are still learning about each other.Remember a private life is a happy life ,relationship should be between two people,not the whole world.And don’t get me wrong there is a difference between keeping your relationship private and keeping your partner a secret.

XOXO……

THE CROWN

With all the glamour I see on it,well fitted diamonds shinning so perfectly that I can actually see my image on it.But I don’t like what I see my makeup is rolling down my face mixed with tears. You wanna know why am crying? Because am tired so tired of lying to myself that am fine and am not.Am breaking, inside me am in pieces. I don’t deserve to keep wearing this crown anymore with all this going on; although everyone tells me am a queen and that I should put my head up stand tall and support this crown from falling off my bald head.
It so sad that nobody expect me to be sad,shed a tear, feel alone or even feel like I can’t live to see another day. They all think am this girl who claims to be as strong inside as I portray outside and that I can face whatever challenge that comes my way. But guess what, I can’t act that character not today. Sorry to disappoint you mother nature.
My heart is full of so many painful memories, hard situations and since it’s not my thing to share what I feel with anyone I will just get on my knees and call the name above all names.
He promised that morning will come the sun will be out and the darkness in my life will be no more.Papa I am waiting for my sun more than the watchman waits for the morning.
And when it comes I promise I will pick myself up,clean up,put on some makeup, look good and there I will pick my crown and place it on my head ready to rule my queendom.
Queens is okay to be weak,it’s okay to break down coz that is when we pick up that energy we require for our next battle.The crown was customized for you and nobody can try to take it from you coz it won’t fit anyone as it does fit you. So whatever battle you have to fight you have to fight them alone no one will fight them for you. All the tasks and dreams you have, YOU are the only one who can achieve them. Just remember that crown looks so beautiful on you when you stop feeling sorry for yourself,instead stand tall full of confidence and encouragement that you can do anything on this earth through Christ who strength you. Take over you queendom baby girl.